Sunday, October 23, 2005

Another Meandering Weekend

I feel like I wasted another weekend.

I blame it on some stupid obsessive loop thinking that I fell into last weekend. See, every once in awhile, I have these thoughts about people who I briefly thought of as close friends but grew apart. I've had a lot of people who I considered good friends grow apart from me, but these two people stick in my head for reasons that I don't know nor will I disclose publicly. This type of thinking doesn't always present itself, but every once in awhile, rears its ugly head and harasses me.

It sucks.

But anyway, today, I feel like I figured out the trigger. Last week, I got into an argument with a current friend about something pretty inconsequential. We resolved our disagreement with a temporary impasse. Our discussion afterward about the argument, however, brought some revelations to us about ourselves and the ways we interact with people. Now, I believe that the revelations I had that night inspired me to think obsessively about those two friends from the past.

The thoughts about them still live up there in my head. I think connecting them with my argument from last week has helped to calm them down for now. I hope the calming will continue.

I also don't hesitate to blame work boring me, the feeling of being lost while doing my job search, feeling somewhat behind in life because I don't have a BA and not really having a regular community of people with which to interact as factors that inspire these annoying obsessive thoughts of mine.

They suck.

One thing that doesn't suck, though: The Babylon 5 first two scores by Christopher Franke of Tangerine Dream fame.


Shaw Israel Izikson said...

Dude...I'll tell you the same thing that I told Miah back in July about friends/former friends/loose ends.

Life is short. Too short. You blink - you've lived. Its over gone gone gone. Its all too short to live with the thick weight of regret hanging around your neck.

That, and honestly, you need readers. You really need readers, big time. Let me see what I can do this week.

June said...

Chris and I have become the masters of wasting away a weekend day. We usually have something going on one day, then end up lounging around on the couch the other day. But, hey - until we're all married and have kids, I guess we're allowed a little leisure, eh?