Friday, May 04, 2007

Returning to the Source

As might be obvious from recent blog entries, I've faced something of an existential crisis. The bachelor's project, as I wrote about yesterday regarding my research issues, acted as the switch that made it happen. I feel, happily, like I'm returning to the source that has pushed me toward my attraction and studies into utopianism.

A part of me frowns at the feeling that I will essentially approach utopianism from a mysticism for the layperson, but the facts and my intuition refute that frown. The more and more I delve deeper into utopianism and trying to find a non-reductive way to explore the field in an analytical way, I find the need to go into the direction of mysticism.

During high school, I had some fascination in mysticism, but I also had an interest in psychoactive drugs. I think I was looking for some kind of transcendental meaning to life, my existence and so on and so forth. That probably also explains my interest in The Beat Generation and Jack Kerouac. I want IT, the IT that Dean Moriarity (Neal Cassady) talked about in On The Road. On some level, I think I felt utopia could help people get that much closer to IT!

Will have to think and ruminate more about this one. I'm sure you readers will see more of these revelations. . ..

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