Intoducing the Amazing Fiancee!!!!

The "natives" of the fiancee's Creative Writing program at her college inspired me to write a fun 3-sentence intro for the fiancee:

[The fiancee] has miraculously survived her second semester in the Creative Nonfiction Program. Inventor of the wheel, employed as an assistant editor at Crain Communications, she established the Antarctic penguin civilization and is getting married to the most handsome man in the universe who lies, lies and lies even more at the end of next month. She's overjoyed to get up in front of everyone and reveal her soul to this fine audience.

People, this is what you get when you arrive late to an event in which you're supposed to perform when your guest, a good friend or intimate, shows up very early or on time. You, of course, need to mix in the mischeviousness of other friends and acquaintances, but nonetheless, this is what happens. How much do you enjoy being the butt of a good-natured joke that elevates you to greatness?