Thursday, February 28, 2002

Improvements, Changes, & Adjustments

As you may have noticed, the top has changed a bit. If you feel disconcerted at all, just hit last month, & you'll get back to February. Feb looks a little difference, but th/'s just b/c I made a button to reach the March entries. & when I finally make a March entry, the menu will have selections for March. Expect some more interesting things to arrive after March. =)

Does the Excitement End?

Another friend has come to stay the night. We haven't done anything exciting like Mike & I did this past weekend. Frank & I just hung out, watched a bit of TV, took a walk to the supermarket for some grocery shopping, & we've eaten a bit. Not much else to say. He pretty much needed a place to sleep for the night, & I like the guy. No big event or anything, except th/ he had an interview w/ the Green Party; & we have Guy Smiley stalking us & Elle, the robot from Star Crash keeping us company w/ his southern accent.

Tomorrow we part & go our own aways for a bit. Then crazy stuff happens for me. I work 'til 5, come home to grab my laundry, run to the train station, & head back to the area where I had grown up from a wee child into young adulthood. Around there, I'll see Bad Mr. Tripp spin records, probably some hardcore techno; then we'll all do some hanging out & celebrating of 2 b-days: Bad Mr. Tripp's & some other guy, but I forget his Evil Canadian Name, so we'll call Dirk. But we should have a fun time.

The day aft, I'll try doing some laundry then hitch ride back home to celebrate Alice's b-day. I think an above average amount of people have their b-days in February than any other month, and it has the last amount of days to it. And it does make sense. According to my calculations, these peoples' parents did their shagging in the spring time, when the flowers bloom & the butterflies come out of hibernation. Who in their right mind wouldn't shag then? So anyway. . .I find it a hectic time of the year and look forward to the time when I'll have the presence of mind to take it all in stride & not get tired & exhausted from all this keeping in touch. Even though I do wish that all this keeping in touch w/ people kept a more steady pace, so I could have practice & figure out a pace. But no. . .things don't work th/ way!

Making New Friends, Feeling Myself, & Finding th/ Joy of Good Novel Interaction w/ People

I feel th/ Mike cracked open a door. I had a little peek through th/ door while looking back inside my dark hiding place when I had dinner w/ my friend last night. Then Frank shows up tonight w/ his interesting personality th/ has such a difference from how other people act. It has an unnerving quality, but I look back when I hung out w/ Frank all the time & remember some good times -- & now I'm thinking th/ I've had some good and interesting times since we hadn't hung out together so much.

I also had these interesting feelings while interacting w/ a couple of female clerks @ a record & comic store. I didn't care. . .I smiled. . .I joked. . .& it felt good. This interesting interaction aft yesterday seeing one of the most beautiful women in the world on the subway, fretting over whether she has looked @ me or not, whether I should approach her, thinking to myself, "In the future, you will approach the next attractive girl you see & talk w/ her," then coming up w/ pick-up lines & possible dates & such. Then I have these cpl of pleasant moments just smiling, talking, joking, & looking. I don't know, really. . .. It fascinates me so much th/ I want to go deeper.

& then I thought about how I've got all these different kinds of friends & they have all these different personalities & some of them just have these crazy streaks while others have this gregarious quality to them whereas some of the others get all dry & cocky & challenging like. & I think the thing I liked this one girl @ the record store b/c she wore pretty simple close. Other girls in the Boston area either get all fussied up, others get all punked up, & others don't look all th/ great wearing I guess what I like to call normal clothes. But this girl, she wore normal, cotton clothes & she looked great! but not b/c of her clothes but mostly b/c she acted comfortable & happy & smiled & stuff. Kinda makes me sad th/ I wonder how much she did b/c of her job as a clerk/salesperson @ a record store.

So all this thinking abt friends & girls & such just got me thinking abt the kind of girl w/ whom I'd like to date & w/ whom I'd like to explore emotional intimacy. I want a girl who a) makes me feel comfortable, b) wants to reach self realization, c) realizes th/ through the exploration of emotional intimacy w/ herself & other people leads to ever more self realization, d) feels comfortable, herself (please realize th/ I haven't put these in any particular order), e) feels comfortable w/ my friends & family, and f) understands th/ at the current moment, I've really reached my limits for the night & should get to bed, so I can get up in the morning to do all th/ fun stuff wh/ I have planned for the weekend.

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