Monday, June 04, 2007

Ruminating and Trying to Resolve Friendships Gone Sour

I sent an apologetic e-mail to someone I haven't spoken to in a couple years. Unlike at least a couple people who have dropped out of my life over the last decade or so, this person's ending communication doesn't come as much of a surprise. They revealed an insecurity to me, then I essentially told them I didn't want to hear it. Haven't heard anything from them since.

These types of things stick with me. For awhile, I made huge deals about them because my mind would unconsciously ruminate upon them while letting my conscious brain eavesdrop. It was something of an obsessive thing. After learning more about ADHD and that I have a minor case of it, I had an easier time just letting my mind chatter and telling myself that it didn't really matter.

Nonetheless, there's something about me that really likes the idea of being close friends with people and connecting with them and networking and making more friends. I'm not necessarily the best at all that stuff, but I just keep trying. I kind of hope that my recent humbling will open this door to a pretty damn interesting, if very quirky person and could possibly help improve both our lives.


Anonymous said...

i ran on to your site because i have a friendship that has gone sour. I put the info in and up came your site.
I can't figure out why the friendship isn't like it use to be. I think we have both changed and we don't understand one another any more. this makes me sad, but mosty i get mad at my friend because i think she should bealbe to read my mind. I keep asking myself.. is it me or is it her. Maybe i have changed.?? I have decided not to talk to my friend anymore. Why? because then she can't irritate the hell out of me any more hahaha!! yet i feel empty and sad about it along with being relieved.

The_Lex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The_Lex said...

Honestly, I'm not very comfortable saying much publicly.

(1) I'm not any form of counselor or therapist, so I don't want to necessarily gain a reputation for it. . .or get in trouble for trying to do anything of the sort.

(2) I'm insecure about your anonymity and vagueness (despite appreciating it). . .I'm always insecure about possibly being set up from the past or for something just being a weird game played by someone.

(3) The vagueness also makes it hard to have anything to respond to. Not like I'm one to talk, though. I'm plenty vague in my entry.

Nonetheless, I'm totally willing to ruminate together through private e-mail. You can send me something quick to establish contact using the e-mail form in the right corner.

If you're pretty much just looking to stew in the situation and not learn or grow, though, please don't bother. I'm not interested in just complaining, supporting each other's misery and not doing anything to improve a situation. Life's not worth feeling sorry for ourselves.

Either which way, thanks for the post!