Benefits and Lure of Flow Experience with My Bachelors Project

Did you know that when you're engrossed in an activity that you enjoy, your brain can enter a near-meditative state, beneficial to body, mind and soul?

- Humana Financial Protection Products brochure

I got this quote from a brochure I received with the policy kit for my Critical Illness insurance policy. It hits upon how I feel about my writing and the type of experiences we should look for in life (as long the behavior, itself, isn't immoral and hurts others).

In full disclosure for those who don't know me: I am licensed as a personal lines, life, health and accident insurance agent in the State of Illinois. It's not my first choice, but I am finding myself enjoying working with people to put together a personal plan of financial protection.

These days I'm working most often with health, dental, vision, critical illness and hospital indemnity plans. I agree that these things can be so intimidating that consumers may grow frustrated, but I feel a good agent can provide access and craft a personal plan to provide great peace of mind. Don't hesitate to e-mail me if you live in Illinois and want to see what peace of
mind could be available to you.

Enough self promotion for my day job.

I've randomly encountered the concept of Flow for the last thirteen years or so. A friend wrote about it in a college paper. I've experienced it here and there. Personalities on TV, generally sports stars, have discussed it. I've tried to mine it for material to write my project.

An insurance company putting it into a brochure legitimizes Flow as something worth looking into and trying to work into life.

I've incorporated it in my life already with my research and writing activities. Throughout the years I've likened my bachelors project as an abusive relationship. The frustration becomes so exhausting sometimes that I feel like it has beat me up.

I can't quit it, though. Reaching the point when I just want to throw it down and move on with life, it sucks me back in. I can't stop thinking about it. I have had great times with it. I've learned a lot while working on it. What does it say about me if I quit it? Will any activities be just a backtrack to look at the project with a new perspective or will it be something independent that I really want to do for its own merits? And think of all the great times I've had with this bachelors project. I've come so far with it, how can I just stop here?

There is an academic paper available for purchase online called The Role of Flow Experience in Cyber-Game Addiction. I haven't read it. Nonetheless, having it come up in a Google search using "flow" and "addiction" illustrates that Flow can have some part in the addiction process.

I don't know. The jury is still out. But Sunday night, I did some intense researching that will hopefully bear some fruit. I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around, and I procrastinated on some of my duties (one which didn't need doing because of fortuitous events the next day, anyway).

I dreamt that night, though. I can't remember having any dreams in a long awhile. I made up for my Sunday night sociopathy on Monday night with the wife. I felt great at work during the day Monday when I would have rather been at home doing some more research or writing about the research I had done. I even had the ability to think about and discuss other things. I'm often obsessed about the project when not in the midst of getting my "fix."

So, who knows? Getting into the Flow greatly improves life, but it has the possibility of addiction? An insurance company, almost inherently a conservative entity, states that the Flow experience (using more words than that) has benefits.

As with all things in life, striking the balance between Flow and everyday life, even joyful parts in life, becomes a challenge. Challenge isn't bad, even when it becomes difficult. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, they say.

In my adult life, though, I often feel that it's those Flow experiences that make life worth living. I'll keep pursuing them for now.


Links of interest: Humana Financial Protection Products brochure, Flow, The Role of Flow Experience in Cyber-Game Addiction

Moving Onward, Upward and Forward

Well, I did it yesterday. I passed the life, accident and health insurance licensing exam yesterday. Frankly, I'm a little surprised that I passed. I had too much time to do it and felt weird that I pretty much finished 1 1/2 or 2 hours early, especially when I felt as if I didn't feel comfortable with a fair amount of the questions.

The whole only giving me a pass/fail result kind of annoys me, too. I would have liked to get an actual score to see how much better than the passing score I had gotten. I wouldn't have gloated or anything, but I would have liked to know HOW knowledgeable I am and how much it could help me, in the long run, to possible do a little more brushing up on stuff. But oh well. . .I passed. Everyone keeps telling that's the important part.

I passed it, though, and now can have my work-life balance more equitable. Nonetheless, I'm dealing with a small amount of withdrawal from how much I've dedicated myself to the project over the last couple weeks, when I decided to go from dividing my attention between writing and studying. After passing the test yesterday, I came home and spent the rest of the day watching stuff on the TiVo to make space available for future recordings.

The fiancee and I even took a couple hours to watch the not so great movie, Ultraviolet. The fiancee really put it best: It's like a 14-year fanboy thought up some great scenes then slapped them together. I see that point, but I generally think that the movie had some really interesting ideas that pretty much failed in execution. It could have happened because the movie had SO many ideas or the characters didn't have enough characterization to transcend the unoriginal ideas.

The Wikipedia entry for the movie, however, mentions plenty of valid reasons how the movie could've started well then sucked after post-production. In the end, though, I enjoyed the movie on the level I enjoyed Aeon Flux, which I apparently more than most people.

After seeing Ultraviolet and reading the Wikipedia, though, I'd like to check out Equilibrium. How bad can it be with Christian Bale in it? I'm not a girl, but he acts well. In addition, Equilibrium fits into the utopianism field.

But alas, I need to get ready for some chores soon. I'd like to get that stuff done, so I can spend more quality time with the fiancee (watching The Riches lately, reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning as support for the bachelor's thesis and learning more about the ethics of care have all inspired me to try appreciating the importance of close human relations over many other things in the world -- and OK, maybe even some inspiration from Orson Scott Card, too, despite how much we'd probably disagree about theology, international politics and other values), work on wedding stuff and get moving on my writing and bachelors project.

I guess the work never ends. This time, though, at least it's for stuff that I enjoy and, deep down inside, really value.

A Culmination of 2 Years

This upcoming Friday, the 13th, should become the culmination of about 2 years of my life. I take the Life, Accident & Health licensing exam. If I pass it, I'll consider my job search complete, as I will fulfill the qualifications for the job I've worked for the last three months or so.

I feel pretty confident about passing. Each day until then, I will study but mainly to keep myself sharp on the subject rather than to learn anything new. I don't have full knowledge of the topics, nor do I expect to get that kind of score on the exams. The knowledge I have, though, I believe will be enough for me to get a 70% and pass.

Then I get back to really writing and working on my bachelor's thesis. I feel so confident about the exam, actually, that I think I'll probably get back to working on my current short story. Yay.

Things get serious after Friday, though. I will get moving on with my life, finally!

Screw It

You won't find a thoughtful entry tonight.

I'd really like to write one, but I'm tired. Writing for ten minutes and doing a little reading before bed just strike me as more important right now.

That's the annoying thing about having a full time job and tons of non-writing stuff to do before I can get to writing. 5 or 6 months of financial statements to file. An insurance license to study for. A full time job. . .

As a friend likes me to say, ugh.

And oh, right. Twenty minutes of meditation that I started donig again. Thanks for inspiring me Young Adult Circle Worship at 2U. Just what I needed, something good, relaxing and doesn't take much effort, even if it takes time. And darnit, it relaxes me too much. . .I can't work myself into a fury doing all types of tasks at night until 1 AM. I will probably meet plenty of benefits, but darnit! It makes me feel lazy.