Sleep is Good

Last week, I averaged between 4-5 hours a sleep a night. Combine work, chores, minimum socialization and hyperfocusing on research and attempts at coming up with a hypothesis for the last paper, and I lose sleep.

Frankly, it's the hyperfocusing that causes the problems. At the same time, though, it definitely has its advantages. It makes life a little difficult in the short term, day-to-day, but for the project and things require intense concentration, it helps wonders.

If only I had that hypothesis, though, things would go so much smoother. . ..

Friday and Saturday night, however, I got 9 or 10 hours of sleep, and I FEEL GREAT! Even after only getting 4 or 5 hours last night, I still feel good. Hopefully I can average better sleeping hours this week to help on the short term.

I don't know if I should expect better or worse sleeping hours tonight. The wife and I are going to see Tori Amos in concert. I'm not a fan, but since she's one of the big quintessential musicians from my teenage years, I figure I should see her at least once.

Should be interesting to see if I get to bed at a good time or not after a concert that starts at 7:30ish.

Ruminating and Trying to Resolve Friendships Gone Sour

I sent an apologetic e-mail to someone I haven't spoken to in a couple years. Unlike at least a couple people who have dropped out of my life over the last decade or so, this person's ending communication doesn't come as much of a surprise. They revealed an insecurity to me, then I essentially told them I didn't want to hear it. Haven't heard anything from them since.

These types of things stick with me. For awhile, I made huge deals about them because my mind would unconsciously ruminate upon them while letting my conscious brain eavesdrop. It was something of an obsessive thing. After learning more about ADHD and that I have a minor case of it, I had an easier time just letting my mind chatter and telling myself that it didn't really matter.

Nonetheless, there's something about me that really likes the idea of being close friends with people and connecting with them and networking and making more friends. I'm not necessarily the best at all that stuff, but I just keep trying. I kind of hope that my recent humbling will open this door to a pretty damn interesting, if very quirky person and could possibly help improve both our lives.

New Week. . .Same Old Crap

I miss that spurt of writing everyday I did here, even if some of it was just posting articles. Sadly, I've started dedicating myself more at work (and feeling less fulfilled). On top of that, tons of wedding stuff to do.

And the ADHD doesn't help. Not having an easy time at prioritizing things, other than "work on wedding because if this crap doesn't get done, the fiancee won't be happy and the people around me will be disappointed." Also have done lots of thinking about having a family in the future, how to bring up a kid healthy and safe and just a whole bunch of that "lame" stuff.

Reading Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls probably has encouraged this type of thinking, even though I started reading it more as research for my bachelors project. It has provided some interesting insight there, but I still have a meta-social/individual identity question still hankering me. . .essentially, why do some people choose to buck the society and what's so good about doing so?